Yeah! Let's Do A Oneshot!
by Purple Staplers
Summary: Was: Yeah! Let's Go On MSN. Emmett stole drugs from Edward? Bella's not wearing socks? Jasper and Paul, bffls? Why is all this happening and how hyperactive is this author? Find out, by reading my story. Used to be MSN story, but I changed it to oneshots.
1. SoCkS!

**A/N: I know there are a million stories like this out there, but I just couldn't resist! So please don't just ignore this. Please read it!**

**-Pillow**

BiteMe - Bella

IRefuseToBiteYou - Edward

TakeMeShoppingOrDie - Alice

I'mNotEmo - Jasper

TheGiantCareBear - Emmett

BeautifulIAm - Rosalie

BreakThatLampAndDie - Esme

IAmDocterMan - Carlisle

OutOfTheLoop - Charlie

ThisIsWhyI'mHot - Jacob

IHaveIssues - Paul

LoveIsOverRated - Leah

I'mNotGay - Embry

BabysitterWolf - Quil

QuilAwwwlWet - Claire

**BiteMe has signed in**

**IRefuseToBiteYou has signed in**

BiteMe: HEY EDWARD! GUESS WHAT!??!?!?!?!

IRefuseToBiteYou: You turned on caps lock and now you don't know how to turn it off?

BiteMe: Um...no. I was just excited.

IRefuseToBiteYou: Why is that Bella?

BiteMe: Because....

IRefuseToBiteYou: Because why love?

BiteMe: I don't need to tell YOU. You wouldn't understand.

IRefuseToBiteYou: Why not? Is this a Jacob thing Bella?

BiteMe: No.......

**ThisIsWhyI'mHot has signed in**

BiteMe: JAKE!!!! Thank god you're here!!! I have this thing I have to tell you that Edward would never understand!!!!!

ThisIsWhyI'mHot: Really? What?

IRefuseToBiteYou: HEY!

BiteMe: Oh shut up Eddy. You just don't get it.

ThisIsWhyI'mHot: So what did you want to tell ME?

BiteMe: I'm not wearing..............

IRefuseToBiteYou: What aren't you wearing?!?!!? Why does this not concern me?!?!?! How does my fiancee get to tell her best friend who is in love with her that she isn't wearing something instead of her fiancee?!??!!?!

BiteMe: Gawd Eddy. Shut Up for a minute, I'm trying to tell Jake what I'm not wearing!

BiteMe: So you ready Jake?

ThisIsWhyI'mHot: YEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BiteMe: SOCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

IRefuseToBiteYou: Was that a joke? I didn't get it.

ThisIsWhyI'mHot: Omigawd. That was so funny! It was just like that time.......

BiteMe: Oh yeah, at that place......(giggles)

ThisIsWhyI'mHot: Oh Yeeeaah! (giggles)

IRefuseToBiteYou: What?!?!?! Tell me what happened!!! I swear if you touched her........

ThisIsWhyI'mHot: Sorry, can't tell you. It's our little secret...(raises eyebrows suggestively)

BiteMe: (giggles)

IRefuseToBiteYou: TELL ME!!!!!

BiteMe: When you're older Eddy. You wouldn't understand.

IRefuseToBiteYou: Fine. Hmmph.

**IRefuseToBiteYou has signed out**

BiteMe: So when should we tell him that we were talking about when I was in the airport with my flip-flops and we were buying a chocolate bar and then you got your foot stuck in the toilet?

ThisIsWhyI'mHot: And then you ate the chocolate bar and I broke the toilet and we laughed the whole ride home...Yeah I g2g. I'm hungry.

BiteMe: Kay. Bye.

**BiteMe has signed out**

**ThisIsWhyI'mHot has signed out.**

**A/N: So, this is hopwfully kind of original. Please review. **

**Luv Ya! **

**- Pillow**


	2. Emo BUDDIES!

**Here's the second chapter of my new story, check out my other stories, they're pretty cool.**

**- Pillow**

BiteMe - Bella

IRefuseToBiteYou - Edward

TakeMeShoppingOrDie - Alice

I'mNotEmo - Jasper

TheGiantCareBear - Emmett

BeautifulIAm - Rosalie

BreakThatLampAndDie - Esme

IAmDocterMan - Carlisle

OutOfTheLoop - Charlie

ThisIsWhyI'mHot - Jacob

IHaveIssues - Paul

LoveIsOverRated - Leah

I'mNotGay - Embry

BabysitterWolf - Quil

QuilAwwwlWet - Claire

**IHaveIssues has signed in**

**I'mNotEmo has signed in**

I'mNotEmo: Hey Paul. Whatchadoin?

IHaveIssues: Not much. Just listening to Helena by My Chemical Romance in my room.

I'mNotEmo: Oh My Emo!!!! Me too..........except I'm biting myself because knifes can't cut through my skin.

IHaveIssues: I'm cutting myself with a knife, but it keeps healing. Oh well.

I'mNotEmo: Hey I have an idea.

IHaveIssues: I think I do too!!!

I'mNotEmo: Let's be Emo Buddies!!!!!!

IHaveIssues: Oh, I was thinking we could go to McDonalds.....but that's a good idea too.

I'mNotEmo: I could pick you up at the boundary line and we could go to Port Angeles and you could get some.

IHaveIssues: And then we could go cry in a corner!

I'mNotEmo: Awesome! I'll pick you up in ten.

IHaveIssues: Kay. See ya at the boundary line.

I'mNotEmo: Oh, and please wear a shirt.

IHaveIssues: Fine.

**I'mNotEmo has signed out**

**IHaveIssues has signed out**

**A/N: Tell me what ya think.**

**Luv Ya!**

**-Pillow**


	3. Rise, Rose, and Disses

**Da third chapter.**

BiteMe - Bella

IRefuseToBiteYou - Edward

TakeMeShoppingOrDie - Alice

I'mNotEmo - Jasper

TheGiantCareBear - Emmett

BeautifulIAm - Rosalie

BreakThatLampAndDie - Esme

IAmDocterMan - Carlisle

OutOfTheLoop - Charlie

ThisIsWhyI'mHot - Jacob

IHaveIssues - Paul

LoveIsOverRated - Leah

I'mNotGay - Embry

BabysitterWolf - Quil

QuilAwwwlWet - Claire

**BreakThatLampAndDie has signed in**

**BiteMe has signed in**

**BeautifulIAm has signed in**

BiteMe: Hi Rose, hi Mom.

BeautifulIAm: Hey

BreakThatLampAndDie: Hi sweetie

BiteMe: So what are you guys doing?

BeautifulIAm: Looking at myself. Duh.

BreakThatLampAndDie: Putting a new wallpaper up

BiteMe: A rose by any other name would be just as vain.

BeautifulIAm: Don't hate me cause I'm beautiful, hate me cuz you ain't me.

BeautifulIAm: Not that I care if you hate me cuz I'm beautiful.

BiteMe: Hoh!

**TheGiantCareBear has signed in**

TheGiantCareBear: Oh!!! DISS!

**TheGiantCareBear has signed out**

BreakThatLampAndDie: wth?

BiteMe: wtf?

BeautifulIAm: What a cutie!

**TheGiantCareBear has signed in**

TheGiantCareBear: I wuv you too Rise!

BeautifulIAm: Same he- hey! Wait a sec! Who the fudge is Rise?!?!?!

TheGiantCareBear: Umm....no! Rose! It was a typo!!! I swear!!!!

BeautifulIAm: It's too late for that now McCarty. We're over.

TheGiantCareBear:But...but...but.....Rose!

BeautifulIAm: It's not me, it's you.

BiteMe: Don't you mean it's not you it's me?

BeautifulIAm: No. It's never me.

BiteMe: Whatever. Bye.

BreakThatLampAndDie: I gotta go too.

**BiteMe has signed out**

**BreakThatLampAndDie has signed out**

**BeautifulIAm has signed out**

TheGiantCareBear: I'M SORRY!!! THERE IS NO OTHER WOMAN!!! I SWEAR!!!!! WWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**TheGiantCareBear has signed out**

**A/N: First reviewer to guess correctly where that line is from gets a spot in the next chappie!! The whole its not me its you thing.**

**Luv Ya!!!!!**

**-Pillow  
**


	4. MiLk

**Most credit goes to Zombie's Run This Town and to my friend Sumi.**

**- Pillow**

BiteMe - Bella

IRefuseToBiteYou - Edward

TakeMeShoppingOrDie - Alice

I'mNotEmo - Jasper

TheGiantCareBear - Emmett

BeautifulIAm - Rosalie

BreakThatLampAndDie - Esme

IAmDocterMan - Carlisle

OutOfTheLoop - Charlie

ThisIsWhyI'mHot - Jacob

IHaveIssues - Paul

LoveIsOverRated - Leah

I'mNotGay - Embry

BabysitterWolf - Quil

QuilAwwwlWet - Claire

**ThisIsWhyI'mHot has signed in**

**BiteMe has signed in**

ThisIsWhyI'mHot: Hey Bells. Wanna get a chocolate milkshake?

BiteMe: NO!!!! I DON'T LIKE CHOCOLATE MILK!

ThisIsWhyI'mHoy: I said milkshake.....

BiteMe: Which INVOLVES MILK!

ThisIsWhyI'mHot: I thought you liked milk....

BiteMe: Not anymore. I don't like it now.

ThisIsWhyI'mHot: Why?

BiteMe: Because.

ThisIsWhyI'mHot: Why?

BiteMe: Because.

ThisIsWhyI'mHot: Why?

BiteMe: Because.

ThisIsWhyI'mHot: Why?

BiteMe: Because.

ThisIsWhyI'mHot: Why?

BiteMe: BECAUSE!

ThisIsWhyI'mHot: WHY?!?!?!?!

BiteMe: Because I am partially lactose intolerant okay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ThisIsWhyI'mHot: No you're not

BiteMe: Yes I am so stop bothering me about my disability!

ThisIsWhyI'mHot: But you were drinking chocolate milk at my house yesterday.

BiteMe: How do you know STALKER??!??!

ThisIsWhyI'mHot: Bells, you were at MY house. So you would've been STALKING ME.

BiteMe: You know what? You are so insensitive to my feelings and allergies! GOOD DAY JACOB!

ThisIsWhyI'mHot: Bye.

BiteMe: I'm gonna go get a chocolate milkshake. Wanna come?

ThisIsWhyI'mHot: Omigod.

BiteMe: Is that a yes or a no?

ThisIsWhyI'mHot: Yes I'll come with.

BiteMe: Bye Jacob!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:)

ThisIsWhyI'mHot: Bye Bella.

**ThisIsWhyI'mHot has signed out**

**BiteMe has signed out**

**A/N: You know which button I want you to click. I reply to every one! REVIEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!**

**Luv Ya!**

**-Pillow**


	5. I'm Talking to a toddler

**Sorry it's been such a long time. I've been really busy.**

**And Bella cahnged her name because she fell down one.**

**Emmett changed his because he heard that annoying song.**

**And let's just pretend Claire is old enough to read.**

**- Pillow**

ScrewTheStaircase - Bella

IRefuseToBiteYou - Edward

TakeMeShoppingOrDie - Alice

I'mNotEmo - Jasper

It'sLikeAPartyInMyTummy - Emmett

BeautifulIAm - Rosalie

BreakThatLampAndDie - Esme

IAmDoctorMan - Carlisle

OutOfTheLoop - Charlie

ThisIsWhyI'mHot - Jacob

IHaveIssues - Paul

LoveIsOverRated - Leah

I'mNotGay - Embry

BabysitterWolf - Quil

QuilAwwwlWet - Claire

**QuilAwwwlWet has signed in**

**ScrewTheStaircase has signed in**

ScrewTheStaircase: Hi Claire!

QuilAwwwlWet: Hi bela.

ScrewTheStaircase: So are you spending time with Uncle Quil?

QuilAwwwlWet: Yess. He is with Uncy Jake.

ScrewTheStaircase: Oh, that's nice.

QuilAwwwlWet: Yeah. It ish.

ScrewTheStaircase: Oh God.

QuilAwwwlWet: What?

ScrewTheStaircase: I"M TALKING TO A THREE YEAR OLD ON MSN!!!!!!!

**ScrewTheStaircase has signed out**

QuilAwwlWet: Not again...

**QuilAwwwlWet has signed out**

**A/N: I know, painfully short, and strange.**

**Review!**

**Luv Ya!**

**-Pillow**


	6. Two and a Half Men

**Sadly, the explanation to the title of two and a half men was actually something between me and my dad. and i was explaining to HIM.**

**I figured to chapters today would make up for sucking so much last chappie.**

**- Staplers**

ScrewTheStaircase - Bella

IDon'tGetIt - Edward

FashionChica - Alice

I'mNotEmo - Jasper

It'sLikeAPartyInMyTummy - Emmett

2Cute4U - Rosalie

BreakThatLampAndDie - Esme

IAmDoctorMan - Carlisle

OutOfTheLoop - Charlie

ThisIsWhyI'mHot - Jacob

IHaveIssues - Paul

LoveIsOverRated - Leah

BabysitterWolf - Quil

QuilAwwwlWet - Claire

**ScrewTheStaircase has signed in**

**IDon'tGetIt has signed in**

ScrewTheStaircase: Hey Eddykins. What's wih the screen name?

IDon'tGetIt: Huh? Oh, umm...there is something I would like you to explain to me..

ScrewTheStaircase: Yes...?

IDon'tGetIt: Well.....I don't have much experience with this...

**FashionChica has signed in**

FashionChica: Bella, your going to love this.

ScrewTheStaircase: So....Eddy?

IDon'tGetIt: Well.......ermmmm.........I need you to explain......

ScrewTheStaircase: Oh God. Is this going where I think this is going?!!?

ScrewTheStaircase: Alice! Get back here and answer me darnit.

IDon'tGetIt: She won't answer you.

IDon'tGetIt: So....I.....ummm.....need you to tell me this....

ScrewTheStaircase: Stop in the name of love!!! Your father is a doctor and you are asking me about this?!?! Go ask him!!!!!!

IDon'tGetIt: Um......I'm not sure we're on the same page here Bella. Wait; what did you think we were talking about??

ScrewTheStaircase: Ummmmm......sex.

IDon'tGetIt: What!?!?! Oh god no!!! I wouldn't taint you lie that!!! But I see somebody has already beat me to it. Who told oyu about that stuff.

ScrewTheStaircase: Um......my mom....and Emmett.

IDon'tGetIt: Goshdarnit!!! I have to start watching his thoughts more carefully.....Oh GOD!!!! EWWWW!

ScrewTheStaircase: What?

IDon'tGetIt: Well....you dont wanna know. I'll give you this much, they are in the woods.

ScrewTheStaircase: They're not hunting are they?

IDon'tGetIt: Not in the slightest bit....

IDon'tGetIt: So anyway. Why is it called Two and a Half men? I don't get it.

ScrewTheStaircase: Well, there are to men. And a kid, and the kid is like half a man. Get it now?

IDon'tGetIt: OH!!!! I get it now!!!! Thank You. Bye.

**IDon'tGetIt has signed out**

ScrewTheStaircase: Love you 2

**ScrewTheStaircase has signed out**

**A/N: I know, strange. But seriously, my dad didn't know why it was called two and a half men.**

**Review!**

**Luv Ya!**

**-Staplers**


	7. Swederland

**Sadly, the explanation to the title of two and a half men was actually something between me and my dad. and i was explaining to HIM.**

**I figured to chapters today would make up for sucking so much last chappie.**

**- Staplers**

ScrewTheStaircase/ScrewthePixie - Bella

IGetItNow/SadlyObvious - Edward

FashionChica - Alice

I'mNotEmo - Jasper

It'sLikeAPartyInMyTummy - Emmett

2Cute4U - Rosalie

BreakThatLampAndDie - Esme

IAmDoctorMan - Carlisle

OutOfTheLoop - Charlie

ThisIsWhyI'mHot - Jacob

IHaveIssues - Paul

LoveIsOverRated - Leah

BabysitterWolf - Quil

QuilAwwwlWet - Claire

**ScrewTheStaircase has signed in**

**FashionChica has signed in**

FashionChica: Hi Bella!

ScrewTheStaircase: Hello little one.

FashionChica: Okay, that was not nice. And because of that, you shall go shopping with me. For designer labels.

**ScrewTheStaircase has changed their name to ScrewthePixie**

FashionChica: Just for that, I'm not helping you with your history test.

ScrewthePixie: There are many in this house, most of which are SMARTER than you.

FashionChica: Psh. Whatever.

**FashionChica has signed out**

**IGetItNow has signed in**

ScrewthePixie: I was looking t a box of cookies and I have a question Edward.

IGetItNow: What, love?

ScrewthePixie: Where do swedish people come from?

ScrewthePixie: Like Swederland or something?

**IGetItNow has changed their name to SadlyObvious**

SadlyObvious: They come from Sweden.

ScrewthePixie: Oh...O_o

ScrewthePixie: Wait, then where do Swiss people come from?

SadlyObvious: Switzerland.

ScrewthePixie: Oh, ok. Thank you bye!

**ScrewthePixie has signed out**

**SadlyObvious has signed out**

* * *

Um....Yeah, the whole swederland thing....it actually happenned.

**Review!**

**Luv Ya!**

**-Staplers**


	8. Alice's Song

**I ate too much sugar. READ THE CLIQUE NOVELS!**

**- Staplers**

ScrewthePixie - Bella

SadlyObvious - Edward

FashionChica - Alice

I'mNotEmo - Jasper

It'sLikeAPartyInMyTummy - Emmett

2Cute4U - Rosalie

BreakThatLampAndDie - Esme

IAmDoctorMan - Carlisle

OutOfTheLoop - Charlie

ThisIsWhyI'mHot - Jacob

IHaveIssues - Paul

LoveIsOverRated - Leah

BabysitterWolf - Quil

QuilAwwwlWet - Claire

**ScrewThePixie has signed in**

**FashionChica has signed in**

FashionChica: Hi Bella!

ScrewTheStaircase: Hi Alice!

FashionChica: So, what did you do today?

ScrewthePixie: Is this just one of those times where you only ask someone something because you want to twll them your answer to the question?

FashionChica: Sounds awesome! Anyway, you wanna know what I did?

ScrewthePixie: ...

FashionChica:I made up a song!!!

ScrewthePixie: Wonderful..

FashionChica: So you wanna hear/see it?

ScrewthePixie: Sure Alice.

FashionChica: I'm a little pixie! Short with a pout. Here is my Visa and my Amex! When I get all huffy hear me shout! Give me the dress or I'll rip you to shreds!

ScrewthePixie: ...O_o

FashionChica. I know, I'm ah-mazing.

**ScrewthePixie has signed out**

FashionChica: Well, if you didn't like it.....

* * *

Yeah, I don't even know.

**Review!**

**Luv Ya!**

**-Staplers**


	9. But They're Dead!

**I ate too much sugar. READ THE CLIQUE NOVELS! **

**- Staplers**

ScrewthePixie - Bella

SadlyObvious - Edward

FashionChica - Alice

I'mNotEmo - Jasper

It'sLikeAPartyInMyTummy - Emmett

2Cute4U - Rosalie

BreakThatLampAndDie - Esme

IAmDoctorMan - Carlisle

OutOfTheLoop - Charlie

ThisIsWhyI'mHot - Jacob

IHaveIssues - Paul

LoveIsOverRated - Leah

BabysitterWolf - Quil

QuilAwwwlWet - Claire

**It'sLikeAPartyInMyTummy has signed in**

**FashionChica has signed in**

It'sLikeAPartyInMyTummy: Yo.

FashionChica: Emmett, no.

It'sLikeAPartyInMyTummy: Just chillax homeskillet!

FashionChica: Emmett, do you remember the little talk we had last time?

It'sLikeAPartyInMyTummy: No.

FashionChica: Emmett.

It'sLikeAPartyInMyTummy: Yes?

FashionChica: Well, since you've obviously forgotten, let me explain this again.

It'sLikeAPartyInMyTummy: Okay.

FashionChica: Do you remember why Rosalie doesn't like you talking gangster?

It'sLikeAPartyInMyTummy: No.

FashionChica: Because Emmett, she was raped by gangsters.

It'sLikeAPartyInMyTummy: WHAT?!?! Those idiotic....jerks!!

It'sLikeAPartyInMyTummy: I'm going to kill them!!

FashionChica: EMMETT!! WAIT! They're well...

**It'sLikeAPartyInMyTummy has signed out**

FashionChica: They're dead....

* * *

**Review! Please! It was my b-day yesterday!**

**Luv Ya!**

**-Staplers**


	10. Jacob's Hooker

**I ate too much sugar. READ THE CLIQUE NOVELS! **

**- Staplers**

YouKnowIWantYa - Bella

IKnowYouWantMe - Edward

FashionChica - Alice

I'mNotEmo - Jasper

It'sLikeAPartyInMyTummy - Emmett

2Cute4U - Rosalie

BreakThatLampAndDie - Esme

IAmDoctorMan - Carlisle

OutOfTheLoop - Charlie

ThisIsWhyI'mHot - Jacob

IHaveIssues - Paul

LoveIsOverRated - Leah

BabysitterWolf - Quil

QuilAwwwlWet - Claire

**IHaveIssues has signed in**

**LoveIsOverRated has signed in**

IHaveIssues: You whore. I hate you.

LoveIsOverRated: Don't you be talking to me like that you slut!

IHaveIssues: Yeah, sure. At least I didn't sleep with Sam Uley to get IN the pack!

LoveIsOverRated: I don't know that.

LoveIsOverRated: Dude, what the hell is up with you?

LoveIsOverRated: Did someone miss their emo time in the corner?

IHaveIssues: Maybe....

LoveIsOverRated: Whatever, you're fat.

IHaveIssues: SHUT UP! I know I'm fat, I'm trying to fit into double zeros!

LoveIsOverRated: I can fit into double zeros....

IHaveIssues: Ungg, I hate you!

LoveIsOverRated: Well you can suck it!

IHaveIssues: Like you did to Jacob last night?

IHaveIssues: I hear things Leah..

LoveIsOverRated: Like your moaning whenever I phase?

LoveIsOverRated: You know you want me

IHaveIssues: You ain't Pitbull.

LoveIsOverRated: Well, you cut yourself.

**LoveIsOverRated has signed out**

IHaveIssues: Well, you're Jacob's hooker.

* * *

**Review! Please! **

**Luv Ya!**

**-Staplers**


	11. Hold Up Homeskillet

**Dude, don't even ask.**

**- Staplers**

YouKnowIWantYa - Bella

IKnowYouWantMe - Edward

FashionChica - Alice

I'mNotEmo - Jasper

It'sLikeAPartyInMyTummy - Emmett

2Cute4U - Rosalie

BreakThatLampAndDie - Esme

IAmDoctorMan - Carlisle

OutOfTheLoop - Charlie

ThisIsWhyI'mHot - Jacob

IHaveIssues - Paul

LoveIsOverRated - Leah

BabysitterWolf - Quil

QuilAwwwlWet - Claire

**It'sLikeAPartyInMyTummy has signed in**

**YouKnowIWantYa has signed in**

It'sLikeAPartyInMyTummy: Hey Bella!

YouKnowIWantYa: Hi Emmett.

It'sLikeAPartyInMyTummy: WHOA. Hold up homeskillet. I have a girlfriend.

YouKnowIWAntYa: What are you typing about?

It'sLikeAPartyInMyTummy: Ummm, YOUR NAME.

YouKnowIWantYa: Emmett, it's supposed to match Edwards. Look on your buddy list.

It'sLikeAPartyInMyTummy: OH! I see it now.

It'sLikeAPartyInMyTummy: Bella? Can you do something for me?

YouKnowIWantYa: Emmett, we've been over this. You are not setting up cameras in my house so that you can watch my epic fails 24/7.

It'sLikeAPartyInMyTummy: How did you know....?

YouKnowIWantYa: Because you've asked me a bajillion times.

It'sLikeAPartyInMyTummy: MARIJUANA SMELLS GOOD.

YouKnowIWantYa: You snuck into Edward's stash again didn't you?

It'sLikeAPartyInMyTummy: STAY IN SCHOOL. DON'T DO DRUGS!

YouKnowIWantYa: Oh god.......well, in times like this.....

YouKnowIWantYa: ONE TWO THREE FOUR! Uno-do'-tres-cuatro I know you want me You know I want cha I know you want me You know I want cha I know you want me You know I want cha I know you want me You know I want cha!!!!!

YouKnowIWantYa: I'M A SEXAY BEAST!

* * *

**Review! Please! **

**Luv Ya!**

**-Staplers**


	12. SIGN MY YEARBOOK!

**Screw my yearbook, why don't you sign my story! (Yeah, see what I did there? Clever right?)**

**- Staplers**

YouKnowIWantYa - Bella

IKnowYouWantMe - Edward

FashionChica - Alice

I'mNotEmo - Jasper

It'sLikeAPartyInMyTummy - Emmett

2Cute4U - Rosalie

BreakThatLampAndDie - Esme

IAmDoctorMan - Carlisle

OutOfTheLoop - Charlie

ThisIsWhyI'mHot - Jacob

IHaveIssues - Paul

LoveIsOverRated - Leah

BabysitterWolf - Quil

QuilAwwwlWet - Claire

**It'sLikeAPartyInMyTummy has signed in**

**YouKnowIWantYa has signed in**

It'sLikeAPartyInMyTummy: BELLA!!!!! You have to sign my yearbook

YouKnowIWantYa: Emmett, I can't right now.

It'sLikeAPartyInMyTummy: BELLA!

YouKnowIWAntYa: Emmett, it's kind of impossible.

It'sLikeAPartyInMyTummy: What are you talking about? It's easy, all you do is get a yearbook and a pen, and write on it.

YouKnowIWantYa: Em, that's not what I meant...

It'sLikeAPartyInMyTummy: WHAT DO YOU MEAN BELLA?!?!?!!

YouKnowIWantYa: God, you know what Emmett? YOU'RE A DOUCHENOZZLE!

It'sLikeAPartyInMyTummy: You, you, you...

YouKnowIWantYa: Yes?

It'sLikeAPartyInMyTummy: YOU MEANIEPOOFACE!

YouKnowIWantYa: Very mature.

It'sLikeAPartyInMyTummy: I hate you!

YouKnowIWantYa: Love you too Emmett. Love you too.

* * *

**Review! Please! **

**Luv Ya!**

**-Staplers**


	13. Teen Magazinesss!

**I was bored, okay?**

**- Staplers**

YouKnowIWantYa - Bella

IKnowYouWantMe - Edward

FashionChica - Alice

I'mNotEmo - Jasper

It'sLikeAPartyInMyTummy - Emmett

2Cute4U - Rosalie

BreakThatLampAndDie - Esme

IAmDoctorMan - Carlisle

OutOfTheLoop - Charlie

ThisIsWhyI'mHot - Jacob

IHaveIssues - Paul

LoveIsOverRated - Leah

BabysitterWolf - Quil

QuilAwwwlWet - Claire

**It'sLikeAPartyInMyTummy has signed in**

**YouKnowIWantYa has signed in**

It'sLikeAPartyInMyTummy: hey bells, guess what?

YouKnowIWantYa: What Emmett?

It'sLikeAPartyInMyTummy: I made a MAD LIB!

YouKnowIWantYa: You know you're supposed to do those with somebody right?

It'sLikeAPartyInMyTummy: I know. I did one with Jasper

YouKnowIWantYa: hahaha! Instead of Casper the friendly ghost, he could be Jasper the friendly vampire!

It'sLikeAPartyInMyTummy: Hahahaha no.

YouKnowIWantYa: meaniepooface

It'sLikeAPartyInMyTummy: yeah, anyway, you want to hear my mad lib? we got it out of one of those M magazines Alice buys. Speaking of which, did you know that Miley Cyrus and Nick Jonas broke up?

YouKnowIWantYa: Emmett, come on. That is sooooo last year! What about Vanessa and Zac's engagement?!?!

It'sLikeAPartyInMyTummy: NO WAY.

YouKnowIWantYa: Yes way! They won't announce a date yet though.

It'sLikeAPartyInMyTummy: Oh, did you hear that Taylor Lautner and Selena Gomez might be dating?

YouKnowIWantYa: Boy, you serious?

It'sLikeAPartyInMyTummy: Uh-huh.

YouKnowIWantYa: Emmett, I think we might be low on teen gossip mags, and our knowledge of the stars is getting old.

It'sLikeAPartyInMyTummy: Let's go buy some! Then you can read my MAD LIB!

YouKnowIWantYa: If we get a bunch of M magazines, we can make new ones!

It'sLikeAPartyInMyTummy: YAY! Pick you up in five!

* * *

**Review! Please! **

**Luv Ya!**

**-Staplers**


	14. Weemo's and Weetards

**I was bored, okay?**

**- Staplers**

YouKnowIWantYa - Bella

IKnowYouWantMe - Edward

FashionChica - Alice

I'mNotEmo - Jasper

It'sLikeAPartyInMyTummy - Emmett

2Cute4U - Rosalie

BreakThatLampAndDie - Esme

IAmDoctorMan - Carlisle

OutOfTheLoop - Charlie

ThisIsWhyI'mHot - Jacob

IHaveIssues - Paul

LoveIsOverRated - Leah

BabysitterWolf - Quil

QuilAwwwlWet - Claire

**It'sLikeAPartyInMyTummy has signed in**

**I'mNotEmo has signed in**

It'sLikeAPartyInMyTummy: Yo emo child!

I'mNotEmo: For the last time Emmett, I'm not emo.

It'sLikeAPartyInMyTummy: You're right, your more like a weemo.

I'mNotEmo: ?

It'sLikeAPartyInMyTummy: wannabe emo? gosh your such a weetard

I'mNotEmo: I'm not even sure if i wanna know what that that one is.

It'sLikeAPartyInMyTummy: Well, it doesn't matter because I'm going to tell you anyway.

It'sLikeAPartyInMyTummy: I mean, Edward doesn't want to know what me and Rose did last night, but I think about it anyway.

It'sLikeAPartyInMyTummy: It means wannabe retard

I'mnotEmo: Why would anyone want to be reatard? And why can I feel your waves of lust?

It'sLikeAPartyInMyTummy: Okay, just because you feel lust doesn't mean it's me! I'd turn around if I were you.

I'mNotEmo: Why?

It'sLikeAPartyInMyTummy: Just do it. This was Rose btw.

I'mNotEmo: Like OMG really?

It'sLikeAPartyInMyTummy: Like yeah bro! Now turn around.

Jasper turns around to see Alice in some very lacy things.

I'mNotEmo: Ihavetogonowbye

It'sLikeAPartyInMyTummy: Like shooting fish in a barrel. Wait? Why do I care? I'm wasting precious mirror and me time!

* * *

**Review! Please! **

**Luv Ya!**

**-Staplers**


	15. AN: Kind of Important

**So, a reviewer/flamer (no offence) has pointed out to me that Chat stories aren't allowed. Do not worry, I shall continue writing, but instead of msn chats, they'll just be a bunch of oneshots. Like the conversations with a bit more, kay?**

**Sorry, actually it was two people, but one of them was a fellow author so it didn't bother me as much.**

**Please don't hate me,**

**- Staplers**

**P.S. Thought you guys might enjoy seeing the review posted by the person. Copied an pasted.**

**This review was written by I Pwn Your Ego:**

My dear, chat/script format is not allowed in FanFiction. Please grow a pair of eyes and read them. You'd do the rest of us a favour if you did.

**I will not throw a fit or stop writing. Criticism is a part of life. Not everybody is going to like you or what you do. So to I Pwn Your Ego: I changed it okay? You happy now?**

**I'll try to post a new chappie soon.**


	16. Extreme Dolphin Riding Is Not A Sport

**Hey y'all. Sorry for the wait, although this crap chapte risn't much of a forgive me gift. Sorry, but it's the best I cna do non-hyperactive.**

**That, and I lost my idea sheet. Next chappie will be WAY better. I promise. Pinky swear.**

**Oh! Exciting! I broke 100 reviews! THanks to everyonw who helped me get there, and I hope we'll make it all the way to 200. not trying to sound cocky. So as an extra special thank you, the next chapter will be dedicated to everyone who reviewed. Trust me the wait will be worth it. **

**luvluvluv, **

-Staplers

* * *

﻿-Extreme Dolphin Riding Is Not A Sport-

-EMMPOV-

" Jasper! Go faster! If we want to get into the Summer Olympics we must TRAIN!", I yelled

Jasper immediately sped up on his dolphin Cuddles (whom he was riding). He tightened the reigns on Cudles and started kicking his feet faster, causing a sudden urge of speed. I cheered loudly into my megaphone, shouting encouragement when I heard a voice behind me.

" EMMETT McCARTY CULLEN! WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?!", Esme hollered from a few feet behind me.

By now Jasper ha dissapeared underneath the wter, and I had no way out of this.

" JASPER WHITLOCK HALE GET OUT OF THE OCEAN THIS INSTANT!", Alice screeched

" Emmett! What did you do this time?! You know what, you''re just banned from the bedroom for a month.", Rosalie siad loudly

I turned around to see a livid Esme, a furious Alice, anda shameful Rosalie with her head in her hand. I threw my megaphone at the ocean and tried to make a run for it, only to be pulled back by three sets of hands, one of them digging her nails into my skin extra hard.

" OW! Alice!", I yelped

" Emmett, seriously? We leave you and Jasper alone for two hours and you manage to make a mess in my kitchen, break four of my vases, knock down a tree, and yell at the wolves through a megaphone? I agree with Rosalie's punishment.", Esme said

" And yes Emmett, I know about Cuddles and Sparkles. And for the first, and last time, you ar enot going to get into the Olympics because dolphin riding in NOT a sport! Nor will it ever be!", Alice announced before all three of them ran off.

I pulled out my phone and dialed the Olympics people.

............................................................................................

" Lookie what I have!", I sing-songed through the house a few hours later

" What now Emmett?", Bella asked from the living room

" Where's Edward?", I questioned, plopping down from the couch and shoving the legal smelling paper in her face.

" Getting food..stop already I'll look at it!"

Bella grabbed the paper and read it over. She handed it back and shook her head

" Emmett that's not-", Bella started

" not anything BUT pure aweosmeness? Yeah, I know.", I said proceeding to show it to everyone else in Forks.

.............................................................................................

(At the Summer Olympics)

" We're here to sign in for Dolphin Riding, you may have heard about it, here's the legal document.", I said very proffesional like, showing him the magic piece of paper that would prove everybody in my family wrong.

" You can't be serious.", the man asked

" You bet yuor horse we are.", Jasper assured him

" Sirs, this is writted in red _crayon_.", the man said", I can't allow you access here."

" You have to! Please!", Jasper and I begged

" SECURITY!"

Two big men in uniforms came and pulled us away from the desk and off the premises.

" Well you two are fat!", Jasper screamed once we had hit the pavement again.

* * *

**Wow...how much of an epic fail was that? Review and tell me.**

**luvluvluv,**

**-Staplers**


	17. It's That Time Of Year Again

**Hey y'all. Way better than last chappie!**

**Dedicated to everyone who reviewed.**

**luvluvluv, **

-Staplers

* * *

﻿-It's that Time Of Year Again-

-BPOV-

It was that time of year again. Yep, time to shop for school supplies. And I was dreading it. Why you ask? Because Emmett and Jasper were picking me up in five minutes to 'chaperone me'. This should be....interesting. I printed out my list and thanked the heavens that it didn't die on me. I heard a honk outside and ran out the door.

I buckled my seat belt and we were off. Of course, Jasper had his Wizard of Oz CD on, so for a whole hour, I had to listen to the exact same song. After the car ride to Port Angeles, I didn't want to see any Wizard. Ever. We pulled into the Walmart parking lot and I gasped.

" I thought you guys said Esme banned you from here!", I yelled

" Without supervision. You are our supervision.", Jasper acknowledged

" How am I supposed to get my school stuff and watch you bozo's at the same time?", I asked

" Duh. Rawr, you is ninja mode must be used.", Emmett said

" You two are going to stay with me until I finish my back to school shopping and then and only then will we look at stuff you want to look at. But only for a half hour. Deal?", I ordered

" Deal.", Jasper agreed

" Seal.", Emmett exclaimed

" Seal? What the hell? You were supposed to say deal.", I corrected

" No. Seal. look ,it's a bus that goes to SeaWorld in Seattle. Ooh! Bella, can we go?!",Emmett cried

" NO. Now get out of the car.", I groaned

We all got out of the car and went to get a cart. I trusted Jasper and Emmett to do this by themselves while I sat on a bench outside the store. When they came back Jasper was in the cart and Emmett was pushing it by running, hopping on the back of it, and running again. i put up my palm and scowled, wishing they'd stop. We hadn't even entered the store and I was already in over my head.

.........................................

" Emmett! Get off the cart! Jasperrrrrrr! Stop talking to the gnomes!", I screeched

" No! It's your fault! You let us in here!",Emmett yelled followed by a woohoo!

I groaned internally. Why couldn't these two just grow up?! Uh, it's only been five minutes of Jasper and Emmett in Walmart Time and they already messed up the entire size six section in the shoe aisle, not to mention broke into all the packages of men's underwear and flung them all over the store. Jasper was currently carrying on a conversation with two gnomes (one of which was apparently hitting on him), and Emmett was...well actually I had no idea what Emmett was doing but it involved feathers, syrup, pillows, and a bra. And to top it all off, they were both wearing plaid boxer shorts on their heads.

I grabbed both of them and dragged them out of the store by the ears. The alarm went off but I didn't care. I shoved them into the backseat of the car and twisted their ears before getting into the front seat and hot wiring the car so we could get out of this wretched place. And for the final touch, I blasted classical music the entire time.

* * *

**Better, but not as good as i hoped. But the next one will be the best one yet.**

**luvluvluv,**

**-Staplers**


	18. This Is Why We Keep Bleach Locked Up

**Hey guys, second chapter today.**

**luvluvluv, **

**-Staplers**

* * *

﻿-This Is Why We Keep Bleach Locked Up Under The Sink-

-RPOV-

" Hey Alice, wanna do something fun?", I asked, grinning evilly.

Alice spaced out for a minute before returning my smirk. She nodded slowly, grabbing my arm and leading me into the dining room. We made makeshift guns with our fingers and began singing the Mission Impossible theme song. Alice pushed her back and against the wall and I did the same, before doing two summersaults and a cartwheel into the kitchen, Alice following suit. We bent down and started walking on our tippy toes before proceeding to crawl on the floor. Alice produced a glass cutter and made a perfect circle in the cupboard, something Esme would kill us for later. She reached in and grabbed what we were looking for. Straight up bleach homies.

We shared an evil laugh and I got two glasses from the cupboard. Alice opened the bleach and poured two equal shares into the two glasses. I grabbed mine eagerly and began chugging it before Alice could put the cap back on the bleach. I finished quickly, pouring another glass. After I was done my third, I felt like the world was made of rainbows, and I was sitting on a cloud. I saw a unicorn walk by and I ran up to it and began biting it. Alice downed her fourth glass before doing the same to a merman.

Yum....this unicorn tasted good. I would name him Charlie. Ouch! Charlie bit me finger. No! Charlie was running away! I followed him through the back door, but he wasn't there anymore.

" Charlie! Where'd you go! Charlie!!! I'm coming after you!", I yelled frantically

I sped off in the direction of Charlie's delicous unicorn scent.

-EdPOV-

Rosalie and Alice were acting really really weird. Their minds were to cracked up for me to read. From what I understood, Rosalie was running after Charlie her unicorn(who was really Jasper) and Alice thought I was a delicious mermaidman. I tried to run away, but little pixie had a better grip than I thought. I told her something about having to go back into the ocean and ran off. She was so angry she had started tearing apart the living room. I saw Emmett walking towards the house and I bodyslammed him away form the house.

" You do not want to go in there.", I warned

" Okay? Are they high again?", Emmett asked

" Yes! So stay out here with the sane.", I ordered

" I am so getting my share!", Emmett yelled, charging into the house.

A minute later, he came out in nothing but the last shreds of his shirt and his Hannah Montana tightie wighties. He ran towards me and grabbed me before jumping, where we landed in his car.

" They said that I was a carrot oatmeal raisin cookie and the needed to destroy me.", Emmett explained as we drove out of the winding driveway. Jasper ran in front of us and hopped into the trunk, his clothes in shreds too.

" Rosalie thinks Chalrie the Unicorn is a carrot oatmeal raisin cookie. She doesn't like carrot oatmeal raisin cookies.", jasper said, tramatized.

THE NEXT DAY

We pulled into the driveway, executing extra caution. We walked into the house in a triangle shape, our backs together, spinning around. The house was in shreds, and the house smelt like burnt cookies. As in thrown into a firplace. And then Emmett started laughing at the damage. Then Jasper began laughing because Emmett was laughing. Then I started laughing because Jasper was laughing because Emmett was laughing.

Then Esme and Carlisle walked in. Then Esme saw the damage. Then she fainted. Then Carlisle screamed. Then he glared. Then we ran.

* * *

**I loved this chapter. It was really fun to write.**

**Review!**

**luvluvluv,**

**-Staplers**


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